


Secret Love

by Wallflower (Gryffindors_wallflower)



Series: All Our Secrets [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Female Reader, Implied Sexual Content, Quentin's A Bit OOC, Secret Relationship, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 06:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13898256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryffindors_wallflower/pseuds/Wallflower
Summary: Reader is the nineteen year old sister of Oliver and Thea Queen. She's also Quentin Lance's secret lover and has been since her eighteenth birthday. But the secrecy is no longer as appealing as it was when they first started seeing each other and the reader is unsure about how to approach Quentin with this topic.Meanwhile, Quentin is also beginning to find problems with their relationship.Set in early season one.Based on the song 'Secret Love Song' by Little Mix ft. Jason Derulo.





	Secret Love

 

**_When you hold me in the street_ **

**_and you kiss me on the dance floor_ **

**_I wish that it could be like that_ **

**_Why can't it be like that?_ **

**_'Cause I'm yours._ **

 

The sound of a familiar voice had you creeping out of your room and down the stairs to investigate. You could feel yourself become excited and a bit nervous as you reached the last step. You knew your mother, brother, step father and your brothers' friend were in the living room and you knew exactly who else was there, along with his colleague in the police force. 

"I don't find your tone appropriate, detective." You heard your mother say, clearly warning _your_ detective to drop whatever he was talking about. You couldn't help but wonder what he had said. 

"If Oliver can think of anything else he'll be in touch." Despite the polite tone in your stepfather's voice you could tell he was ending this meeting no matter what." Thank you, gentlemen, for coming." This was followed by shuffling and murmuring that you were sure came from your detective. 

Next thing you knew Raisa was leading Detective Lance and his colleague out of the sitting room and to the front door. The moment he left the room he immediately caught your eye and conspicuously slowed his pace so that he was behind his partner, who hadn't noticed you yet. With that, you quietly pulled out your phone and began messing with it while walking in Quentin's direction. As predicted, you walked straight into him, knocking the bag held under his arm to the floor and scattering its contents around the hall. 

The detective let out an exasperated sigh as his partner and Raisa turned to see what caused the commotion. 

"I am so sorry!" You babbled with an apologetic look on your face. He simply waved you off while rolling his eyes when he spotted your phone in your hands. He then turned his attention to his partner. 

 "Hilton, you might as well go start the car. I can deal with this." The man nodded and continued walking to the door. Raisa quickly opened the door for him and thanked him for coming. You proceeded to focus your attention on her. 

"Raisa can you please check if I left my friends scarf in the kitchen?" You asked kindly."I think I had it in my hand a while ago when I was getting a snack and I can't find it now." She nodded with a smile but then faltered when she remembered Quentin was still there, crouched on the ground, picking up the scattered papers slowly. Catching on to her train of thought, you assured her that you would help the detective and escort him out. She didn't look too sure, but went to the kitchen anyway, leaving you alone with Detective Lance just like you wanted. 

Once Raisa was out of sight you pocketed your phone and crouched down beside your detective and began helping him collect his papers, only to be stopped by two calloused but gentle hands grasping your own. You looked up to see a sweet smile and kind eyes replacing the annoyed expression he wore in front of Raisa and Hilton. 

"Hey." He mumbled. His thumb lightly brushed against your knuckles in a circular motion, the few remaining pieces of paper on the floor momentarily forgotten. 

"Hey yourself, stranger." You replied quietly with a grin and a cheeky wink. He chuckled before bringing your hands closer to his face and kissing both of them delicately, causing you to giggle. He quickly shushed you and inclined his head towards the living room, reminding you of your situation and causing your giggling to immediately cease. You couldn't help but feel frustrated, whether at him, your family or yourself, you weren't sure.

"Any chance you can stay over tonight?" He asked, bringing your attention back to him." We can order pizza and watch movies." The idea was appealing, but you were unsure if your mother would let you out after the whole ordeal with Tommy and Oliver.

"I don't know if I can with all the stuff that happened to Ollie and Tommy." As you mentioned their names you heard people coming in your direction from the living room. You and Quentin quickly picked up the remaining papers and stuffed them into his bag, standing up straight and walked to the door. As the two of you reached it he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek and smiled at you once again. 

"If you're able to escape, text me. We can meet up at the usual place." You nodded and opened the door to let him out. His expression quickly hardened as he remembered his partner's presence and walked out the door and over to the police car in the driveway. You shut the door just as he reached it, not wanting it to look like you were watching him. 

 One thing you knew was that you'd try your hardest to see your detective that night. No matter how many lies you'd have to tell. 

 

**_We keep behind closed doors_ **

**_E_ v _ery time I see you,_**

**_I die a little more_ **

**_Stolen moments that we steal_ **

**_as the curtain falls_ **

**_It'll never be enough_ **

 

For the second night that week you were sitting in that small, dark Chinese restaurant in a hoodie and a beanie, praying to whatever deity you could think of that no one you knew would spot you. After all, you're a Queen. Why would you be in this part of the city at night, especially alone? Who do you know in this area?

The answer wouldn't be entirely obvious at first. As far as your family was concerned you knew no one who lived near here. Well, Oliver probably knew who lived near here but still wouldn't make the connection. Laurel hopefully wouldn't either. Why would you be looking for her father when the only time you see him is when he's questioning Ollie about the Hood?

Just as you pondered their reactions someone sat down beside you. You could feel his breath dusting against your cheek lightly and his arm brushing against yours. It seemed Quentin had finally decided to show up...nearly an hour after the agreed time. 

"I'm so glad we could meet up tonight," He whispered in your ear."We never get this lucky." That was true. Two meetings in one week were rare, even though you were both adults and were free to do as you pleased. 

"What took you so long?" You asked, turning your head to face him and gazing into his gentle brown eyes. He was always soft whenever it was just you two, which is why you were nervous to talk to him about where this relationship was going. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, Laurel called me just as I was about to leave and I couldn't think of any excuses to end the conversation." That was understandable. You had the exact same problem that night.

Getting past Mom and Walter was easy enough, as neither asked any questions after you said you were going to a friends' house again, they simply told you to stay safe.

Thea was a bit more difficult. She knew some of your friends, and although she didn't suspect anything, she was curious as to who it was. You weren't even entirely sure which friend you told her you were staying with, but she left you alone after wishing you a good night and a cheeky warning not to cause too much trouble.

Ollie was the real problem. He seemed to notice you leaving the house at night quite often and was beginning to get suspicious. You told him which 'friend' you were staying with and that you'd be back at some point the next day. He let you go after that but not before reminding you that you had agreed to hang out with him the next evening and also telling you to call him if you need him in a tone that was too serious for a sleepover. 

"Wanna head back to my place and order takeout or do you wanna eat here?" Quentin's voice snapped you out of your worries quietly. You looked around for a second before deciding that this place was too public after the whole ordeal with your older brother. 

"Back to yours." You said, before pressing your lips to the corner of his lips quickly, then grabbing his hand and getting up from your seat. Sensing your urgency, he too arose and, still grasping your fingers tightly, began leading you out the door of the restaurant and to his car parked outside. 

 

**_It's obvious you're meant for me_ **

**_Every piece of you,_ **

**_it just fits perfectly_ **

**_Every second,_ **

**_every thought,_ **

**_I'm in so deep_ **

**_But I'll never show it on my face._ **

 

That night was spent wrapped in each others arms and the sheets of his bed. By the time the sun had risen you two had barely slept, instead preferring to spend the night (and morning) becoming one over and over again. 

You awoke at noon to the sound of your phone vibrating. Opening your eyes slowly and rubbing them, you blindly patted the bedside table behind you until your hand touched the device. You sat up, pulling the sheets up to cover your bare chest, and grabbed it, not even checking who it was before answering.

"Hello?" You croaked. Last night had temporarily taken your voice and left a sore throat in its wake. You heard female laughter from the other end and knew instantly it was Thea. 

"Hello to you too," She answered, amused. You could practically hear the smirk in her voice."Long night?" For a split second you panicked, only to remember the lie you had told her. 

"Yeah, but it was great." The rustling of bed sheets beside you had you looking down at the half awake detective and you quickly tried to end the phone call with a simple "I'll tell you about it when I get home." Thankfully that was enough for your sister and she hung up after making you promise to tell her everything. 

 By that point Quentin was wide awake and looking up at you with a smirk.

"Morning gorgeous." He hummed, grabbing the hand that wasn't holding your phone and holding it between both of his. You put the phone back on the bedside table without breaking eye contact with him. 

" _Afternoon_ , handsome." You corrected, indicating to the alarm clocks behind him. He didn't even bother checking, he just chuckled and brought one hand up to the back of your neck, pulling you down to him and tilting your head slightly, before pressing his chapped lips to your softer ones.

You shut your eyes and sunk into the kiss. Your free hand immediately went to his chest over his heart while the other remained in his soft grip. His moved from your neck up to your messy (H/C) hair, threading his fingers through it carefully. You could feel the stubble on his unshaven face scratch against your cheek lightly. That, mixed with the feeling of his rough hand holding yours, made the kiss more pleasurable and comforting. Your lips parted as he slid his tongue between them to deepen the kiss. It was passionate and slow, mirroring your relationship perfectly. Each second you had together was filled with passion and yet at times it felt like the two of you were going nowhere. At times the relationship felt almost tedious. 

That thought made you open your eyes and pull away slowly. He looked up at you questioningly, still running his hand through your hair at a languid pace. You knew you had to talk to him about your situation, otherwise everything would eventually go downhill and you cared about him too much to lose him. With a deep breath you sat up and turned your head down to your scattered clothing. 

"We should probably get up." You announced, letting go of his hand and beginning to pick up your clothes and get dressed. Quentin laid still for a second before following your actions. You dressed in complete silence, not making eye contact until you left his bedroom, when he strolled straight into the kitchen.  

"So what d'you want for breakfast?" He asked just as you were making your way towards the door. He had his back facing you, clearly unable to see your hand already on the door handle.

"I'm not that hungry." You responded, patting the pockets of your jeans to make sure your car keys and phone were there. He turned to face you with a confused expression. 

"What's wrong?" Upon noticing your grip on the handle he then asked, "where're you going?" You hesitated to answer, mainly because you knew the more you spoke, the more likely you'd blurt out something you weren't sure how to even begin discussing. 

"I-I should probably go home." You stuttered sheepishly."It's noon and I'm supposed to be meeting up with my brother, and Tommy will probably tag along too."

You knew that he didn't like hearing about Oliver and his best friend, Ollie for more obvious reasons. In fact, he practically hated hearing about them, which is another reason why you were so afraid of asking him what you were to him and if your relationship was going anywhere. 

"C'mon (Y/N), we didn't eat that much last night. We were a little too busy." He snickered with a suggestive wink, causing your cheeks to heat up slightly. His face then turned concerned."At least have some toast or something. You can show up late. It's only _them_." 

You chose to ignore the bitter tone in Quentin's voice on the last sentence and pondered his offer. You were actually a bit hungry and you didn't have to meet up with Ollie and Tommy until later. You also knew that you'd be mentally kicking yourself later for not at least attempting to talk to him about your 'situation'. Hesitantly you took your hand off the door handle and shuffled over to his kitchen table, cautiously taking a seat. 

"I suppose toast will be fine." You conceded meekly.

Once again he flashed you a dazzling smile before turning around once again to make your breakfast. In the mean time you began running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to make it look more presentable and to try and calm your nerves a bit.

You hardly even noticed Quentin when he placed your plate in front of you until he sat down next to you and cleared his throat to gain your attention. Once again, his face grew concerned. You slowly picked up a piece of toast and began nibbling on it, but each piece tasted like ash in your mouth and each swallow felt more and more difficult as you contemplated whether or not staying was actually a good idea after all. You noticed Quentin had slowly stopped eating  his own pieces of toast and was now staring at you.

"Are you alright?" He asked." You're hardly eating."

"I told you already I'm not that hungry." You mumbled, avoiding eye contact completely.

Quentin huffed and from the corner of your eye you saw him run his hands through his hair in a stressed manner. Guilt rushed through you as you realised that you caused him to feel this way. He lowered his head slightly before turning towards you with a desperate look in his soft eyes.

"You've been zoning out a lot lately," He pointed out worriedly."Is something wrong?"

_' It's now or never.'_  You thought, slowly plucking up the courage to look him in the eye, only to lose said courage almost immediately as you did so. Refusing to let that deter you, you opened your mouth to speak and suddenly realised that you had no idea where to even start.

"Quentin..." You managed to stammer out, placing the piece of half eaten toast back on to the plate.

He motioned for you to go on with a gentle nod, but you had no idea what to say. Where the Hell were you supposed to go from here? _'_ _Quentin, do you ever think about the future?'_ That was perhaps the most overused line in the history of relationships. There was no way you could say that and yet it was the only thing you could think of. Who on earth ever likes hearing that question and who ever likes hearing the answer? 

You could feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes as you wondered what Quentin would say if you asked him that. Would he laugh off the question? Would he tell you that he only saw your relationship as a temporary arrangement? Would he even answer the question? 

You spotted a hand reaching towards your face just as the first tear fell. You stood up abruptly, so abruptly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over with a crash, causing both of you to flinch in shock. Quentin arose and once again tried to reach out to you in an effort to comfort you. 

"I have to leave." You sniffled, turning on your heels and practically running towards the door, ripping it open and sprinting down the stairs of his apartment building.

"(Y/N)!" Quentin called out, but you refused to turn around.

You weren't ready to lose him, in fact, you may have fallen in love with him.

 

**_But we know this,_ **

**_we got a love that is homeless_ **

 

As you walked along the sidewalk, wiping away the still falling tears, you yet again got lost in your own thoughts. You were foolish to believe that talking to Quentin about your feelings would ever be a good idea. What would you have done if he told you he didn't see you in his future? After all, why else would the two of you still be a secret? 

When you two first got together you assumed the secrecy was due to him not being sure how long the two of you would last and the fact that he was dating someone much younger than him, younger than his own daughter, in fact. But now you couldn't figure it out. You were nervous about your family finding out too, but you were beginning to realise that you would do anything to be with Quentin.

Then it struck you like a bolt of lightning.  _He was using you._ It was obvious really, your family ruined his. As far as he was concerned your brother killed his little girl and you couldn't blame him for thinking this way. But it seemed like you were being dragged into some sort of revenge plan. A plan where you would get your heart ripped out and he would walk away laughing at how naïve you were to think that he actually cared about you. 

You tried your hardest to push these thoughts away, but they continued to attack your mind, causing more tears to fall. Luckily, very few people were around and you could now see your car only a few spaces away. You shakily jog to it, reaching into your pockets to find your keys. It was only then that you realised that your phone had been vibrating for quite some time, indicating that someone was trying to reach you. You ignored it. 

You managed to wrangle the set of keys out of your slightly too small pocket just as it started to pour with rain. Quickly unlocking your car, you dived right into the drivers seat and slammed the door behind you. For a few minutes you simply sat there, still feeling your phone vibrating against your thigh. You knew you'd have to check it eventually to see if anyone else was calling you, but for now you had to calm down and dry your tears so that you could actually drive home. 

 

**_Why can't you hold me in the street?_ **

**_Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_ **

**_I wish that it could be like that_ **

**_Why can't we be like that?_ **

**_'Cause I'm yours_ **

 

That night happened to be the night of Oliver's homecoming party, meaning that you were given the chance to replace thoughts of Quentin with thoughts of happiness and dancing, but of course, life wasn't that simple. 

From the moment you entered the club with Ollie and Tommy you were surrounded by couples dancing together without a care in the world and single people flirting in public shamelessly with each other. You felt a tinge of jealousy just looking at them. Most of them probably didn't even know how lucky they were, too young and inexperienced to know any other type of romantic relationship. 

It was when the three of you ventured further into the club that you felt your heart truly ache with longing. There, in the middle of the dance floor was a couple locking lips, completely oblivious to the sweaty bodies surrounding them. You knew, of course, that even if you and Quentin were a more public couple that you still wouldn't be like these two. After all, the idea of Quentin in a nightclub was almost laughable, but that wasn't a problem for you. At least if you two weren't a secret you would be able to show affection in public. 

You didn't realise you had been staring at this couple for a bit too long until you felt an arm sling itself around your shoulder. You looked up and were only half surprised when you spotted Tommy instead of Oliver beside you with a cheeky smirk on his face. Oliver was nowhere to be seen. 

"So who or what are you staring at?" Tommy interrogated playfully. You looked up at him and shrugged nonchalantly. 

"Nothing important. Just scouting for anyone _interesting_." You lied casually, leaning your head on his shoulder for comfort and wrapping your arm around his waist. 

You always adored Tommy. He had been friends with your brother since forever and helped you deal with your grief after Oliver and your father were lost at sea. That had caused you to see him as another brother, as he was always very protective of you. Even now he was offering you comfort without even realising it. You wondered how he would react if you told him what had really been running through your head. 

"And have you found anyone _interesting_?" He asked, his voice lowering on the last word in a suggestive way. You giggled and shook your head. 

"Nah. There's no one here that would suit me." For the moment that was true. Since you and Quentin started 'dating' you hadn't looked at people the same way. Before you could easily spot attractive people or people that you'd probably be great with, but since Quentin became a prominent figure in your life those people no longer mattered. Maybe that was a sign you were happy or that you took your relationship seriously. 

"You never know," Tommy beamed."Maybe we can find someone to entertain you for the night." You threw your head back laughing, leaning on Tommy for support that your heeled shoes couldn't offer you in your current state. 

"No, Tommy," You replied after calming down a bit, still pressed up against him."How about we find some unfortunate girl for you?" He rolled his eyes at your choice of words. You nudged him playfully and grinned."I'll be your wing woman." You bargained. 

With a smirk he led you to the dance floor to find some poor soul to flirt with and for a few moments you forgot all about your treacherous love life. 

 

**_When you're with him,_ **

**_do you call his name_ **

**_Like you do when you're with me?_ **

**_Does it feel the same?_ **

 

Quentin couldn't believe what he had just seen. The Hood Guy had just thrown himself out of a window, zip lined on to a building across the street and left a trail of bodies impaled with arrows in his wake. The fact that this man was real was still nearly impossible to believe, despite what him, his partner and several armed police officers had witnessed as they searched Adam Hunt's building. 

The squad of police officers and detectives quickly reached the lobby of the building and ran across the street into the building the mysterious hooded figure had landed on. To make his night even worse there was a party in full swing in this building and the detective had a pretty good idea who's party it was and who would be there. As one officer ran to the stage to announce into the microphone that the party was over, causing the DJ to halt the music, Quentin began giving orders. 

"Search the building, roof to basement. Find him!" He barked at the remaining police task force as he marched through the sea of disgruntled young adults. He then began to address the crowd."Starling City Police, the party's over, kids!"

He ignored their booing and continued marching through the club until he spotted someone familiar with a young woman on his arm. 

"Oh Mr Merlyn," Quentin quipped just as Tommy Merlyn let go of the young girl and turned to face the detective with an amused smirk on his face that Quentin would give anything to wipe off."Imagine my shock at finding you here. Did you roofie anyone special tonight?" The sarcasm was practically dripping from his voice as Tommy's smirk turned into a full blown grin.

Merlyn's lady friend seemed to freeze for a moment before turning around to face the detective with an apprehensive look on her face and he immediately knew why. There (Y/N) was, after running out on him in tears only hours before, with another man. He wasn't sure if he was angry or devastated, or if he even had the right to feel either. But before he even had time to react someone else joined their group. 

"Detective?" Oliver Queen appeared behind his sister with an easygoing smile on his face."This is a private party." Like always, all attention went to him. 

"Yeah, well there was an incident at Adam Hunt's building tonight. You know anything about that?" Quentin asked the oldest Queen sibling. 

"Who's Adam Hunt?" Oliver asked with a confused expression.

"He's a millionaire bottom feeder and I'm kinda surprised you aren't friends." Quentin explained in an annoyed tone. A smirk took over Oliver's face at that. 

"I've been out of town for a while." Oliver replied cheekily. Tommy looked from his friend to Lance with that same God damn smirk on his God damn face. So far (Y/N) had kept quiet and was merely glancing between her older brother and her secret lover. Quentin returned his attention to said older brother. 

"Yeah, well he just got attacked by the guy with the hood," He told them."The guy that saved your ass the other day." 

"The Hood Guy?" Oliver remarked."You didn't find him? I'm gonna offer a reward." With that, Queen turned around to face the crowd of party goers with one hand in the air and two fingers pointed upwards just as his sister reached out to grab his forearm with a panicked expression. 

"Ollie-" She started, but was interrupted with a shush from her brother and by Tommy pulling her closer to his side, causing her to let go of Oliver. As Tommy turned in the same direction as Oliver she kept facing the detective with a look on her face that seemed to express sorrow and desperation. 

"Hey everybody!" Queen announced, catching everyone's attention."Two million dollars to anybody who can find a nut bar in a green hood." The crowd cheered at the amount they were offered for something so trivial. Queen and Merlyn turned to face the two detectives once again, still smirking and that was when Quentin finally snapped. 

 He strode closer to Oliver, getting right in his face and scowled at the billionaire. 

"Did you even try to save her?" Quentin was vaguely aware of Lucas pulling him away from Oliver, but he barely acknowledged him, feeling nothing other than his fists balling and his muscles tensing."Did you even try to save my daughter?" This time Lucas actually managed to pull him backwards and a female figure stepped between him and the oldest Queen. 

"Sara wouldn't want this." Lucas insisted, continuing to pull him away from the gang of billionaires, away from the man who tore his family apart, his irritating friend and his enchanting sister."It's not worth it." Lucas added as the crowd around them started to block out Quentin's view of the trio. (Y/N) still stood in front of her brother, but maintained eye contact with the distraught detective. Her face was covered with a look of despair as she watched him get dragged out of the crowd by his partner, making him consider going back to her. 

However, just as that thought popped into his head the crowd finally broke their eye contact, forming a thick wall of bodies between them. A voice, Quentin was positive belonged to Oliver Queen, called out for the party to resume and soon enough the music began pounding once again. 

The detective finally turned around and began walking on his own, no longer paying attention to the throng of dancing adults, instead choosing to shove that confrontation to the back of his mind as he got back to searching for the man in the hood. He would have to leave his lover in the arms of Tommy Merlyn for now and try to ignore the thoughts of what they would be like as a couple. Would they be happier? Would their relationship be a secret like how Quentin's was with her? Probably not. 

Already he had failed at ignoring the idea of Tommy and (Y/N) together and a gut feeling told him that they would be on his his mind for the rest of the night. 

 

**_Would you leave_ **

**_if I was ready to settle down?_ **

**_Or would you play it safe and stay?_ **

Quentin sat at his desk at one o'clock in the morning fidgeting with a pen. They had no luck at finding the hood guy in the building or anywhere around it, but he still had to return to the station to fill in some reports and to see if they would hear of any other crimes linked to the hooded man, but he doubted it. Something told him this guy was too careful to strike again on the same night, so after he had finished all his paperwork he sat back and let his mind slowly be tormented with memories of what had happened at that party. 

He thought back to when (Y/N) ran out of his apartment that morning in tears, unable to tell him what was on her mind. What if what she wanted to talk about involved Tommy Merlyn? Was she cheating on him with that spoiled brat? Did it even _count_ as cheating in their situation? In Quentin's mind it did, but a part of him couldn't blame her. 

Tommy Merlyn was everything Quentin wasn't. Rich, young, charming and lively. Everything a young girl could ever want. With their combined fortune, Tommy and (Y/N) could buy Starling City and still have enough left over that their great-great-great grandchildren could live comfortably without ever having a job. Quentin could never afford the things that Tommy could, the things that she deserved. 

Merlyn could also take her out to better places. Quentin could never take her to a nightclub, he was sure he'd be considered too old to go clubbing, meaning even with her popularity he still wouldn't be allowed in the door. Even if he did get in he'd probably hate every minute of it, with (Y/N) being his only salvation. Tommy could take her all over the world on a private jet while they drank thousand dollar cocktails and ate meals that cost much more. Plus, the Queen's liked Tommy. They sure as Hell didn't like him. Tommy would be completely accepted by her family if they were lovers. They'd hate Quentin even more if they found out about him and (Y/N), or worse they'd treat her differently. 

That was one of the reasons why Quentin wanted to keep their relationship a secret. Her reputation would be damaged, along with her other relationships. She had a lot more to lose than he did. Sure, Laurel might be angry, but she'd eventually come around and she'd only be angry that he never told her, not that they were actually together. (Y/N)'s family probably wouldn't be happy that she was dating a man that disliked her mother, her brother, her deceased father and sometimes her sister and stepfather.

That and he wasn't the nicest person either. He couldn't wrap people around his finger like Tommy Merlyn could to anyone who's wife or girlfriend he hadn't slept with. Quentin knew perfectly well that he was too sarcastic and impatient to be considered as charming as him. 

Quentin then caught his reflection in his blank laptop screen and sighed dejectedly, running his fingers through his messy, dark, greying hair. It did little to fix his appearance. Upon waking that morning next to his lover he hadn't bothered with combing his hair, choosing instead to merely smooth it back with his hands after he finally gave up on calling (Y/N). He also hadn't shaved in a few days, meaning his face was rough due to the stubble, which she always claimed to love, but he felt it made him look sloppy. There were wrinkles here and there and bags under his eyes from a few too many sleepless nights.

Thinking back to the nightclub, he could remember Tommy's appearance perfectly. His hair was meticulously styled, with a clean shaved face and not a wrinkle or bag in sight. He also dressed nicely in a suit jacket and a dress shirt. Next to Quentin's lover, who wore a dress that looked like a million bucks on her and flashy high heels, they looked like the perfect couple.

  _'Relationship goals.'_ Quentin mused to himself with a bitter expression clear on his face. He couldn't even talk to her at the club. Normally they loved interacting in public, especially in front of her family. The fact that no one knew what was going on behind the looks and words they exchanged always got Quentin a little hot and bothered. Turned out he was a little kinkier that he previously thought. That clearly wasn't enough to keep her around anymore, though.

He wondered briefly if maybe he still had a chance with her, if maybe he suggested going public would she want to be with him. Maybe she wanted something real, instead of sneaking around like two foolish teenagers. They were both adults, so why should they have to? But he knew deep down that he could only offer her so much. 

He knew that yet again he would lose a woman he cared for to yet another billionaire playboy. 

 

**_Girl you know this,_ **

**_we got a love that is hopeless_ **

At three o'clock Quentin was just leaving the Police Department when his phone buzzed in his jacket pocket for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Unfortunately for him these calls had nothing to do with the Hood. Instead they were a much more personal caller who he wasn't sure how to talk to yet. 

What the Hell was she doing calling him at 3 A.M? Was she still at the party? Was she at her house? Did she go home with Tommy?  _Was she sleeping with Tommy Merlyn?!_ Quentin couldn't handle that possibility. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of the two of them lying next to each other, whispering sweet nothings after making love all night like he did with her. He couldn't bare the image of (Y/N) curled up on Merlyn's lap as they watched reruns of old shows together, or of Merlyn smiling down at her whenever she laughed at a particularly funny moment, like he always did.

Everything about him and her made Quentin feel sick to the point where he had to stop before getting into his car just to breathe in the fresh air in an attempt to calm himself. It offered very little help, as he was assaulted with these feelings once again the moment he got into his car. He placed his head on the wheel and clenched his eyes shut, letting out a low groan at the frustration and heartache building up inside him. He swore after his divorce that he wouldn't fall that hard again, but here he was falling in love  _with a Queen_. He felt like kicking himself. 

Quentin knew then that he had to do something. He had to confront her about this and figure out where to go from here, because if he waited any longer he'd just end up loving her even more, making it harder for him to let her go if she did want to leave him for Tommy Merlyn or some other kid her age. He had to do this face to face with her, but he had to rest on it and handle the situation in the morning, he realised as he eyed his watch and realised that it was now nearly four o'clock and she was still calling him. 

He put his keys in the ignition and drove to his messy apartment, ignoring her calls much like she ignored his the day before. 

For now it would be easier for him not to talk to her, otherwise he might say something he would regret. 

 

**_And nobody knows_ **

**_I'm in love with someone's baby_**

 

How had he fallen for someone that so obviously couldn't be his? She'd risk losing too much if they stayed together and yet he was desperate to at least ask her to consider staying with him. He knew he couldn't fly her around the world or buy her diamonds everyday, but he'd love her until his lungs gave out. He could make her happy in his own way. 

But no matter what he told himself there was still a small voice in the back of his mind telling him that Tommy Merlyn could make her happier. In a way, she was his. They suited each other perfectly. But Quentin still refused to give up on himself. He had to at least try. 

He'd spent more a year falling in love with a Queen and he couldn't lose her now, not without trying to win her over. 

 

**_I don't wanna hide us away_ **

 

You were still awake at five o'clock the next morning, alternating between tossing and turning in your bed and pacing in your bedroom, all the while checking your phone to see if Quentin had contacted you at all since you stopped calling and texting a few hours beforehand. Unsurprisingly there was no reply to the fifteen texts you had sent him, nor the twenty three calls. You knew in a way you had no right to try and contact him after what had happened the day before, but you were worried about him. 

You had left the party not long after he had, too annoyed at Oliver and Tommy to stick around any longer. You hadn't even wanted to go anyway, but considering your older brother had just come back from the dead you knew you had to. Besides, you'd never been partying with Ollie before, you thought it could be fun, but clearly some of his attitude hadn't changed and it wasn't making your life any easier.

A part of you felt that there was no way you could tell your family and friends about your relationship with Quentin now, but you wanted to more than anything. You wanted to feel like a real couple, like all those couples the party, who didn't care who saw them. You would happily take the teasing from Oliver and Tommy, the disapproving looks from Mom and Walter, even the possible disgust from Laurel and Thea just to be with Quentin. You would do anything for him, anything to make him happy.

Of course, he probably didn't share your dream of going public, but you had to at least try. He deserved to know what you wanted in your relationship. 

 

**_Tell the world about the love we making_ **

 

It was the first thing on Quentin's mind when he awoke after only three and a half hours sleep. What would happen if him and (Y/N) told others about their relationship? It was also on his mind in his sleep, too. His dreams were filled with scenarios, both pros and cons of public dating. He dreamed of dinner with her family, dinner with Laurel, holding hands while walking around the city, countless dates out in the open where anyone could see them.

Of course he knew there was an ugly side to all of that. The fact that her family hated him and he hated them, the judgement they would receive whenever they were seen together due to their highly obvious age difference, the effect that could have on them, on her. He didn't want that for her, but he was desperate to keep her. Desperate to not feel so alone anymore. 

If he had to tell everyone about their relationship just to keep her then he would happily do that. But no matter what, that voice was still there, reminding him that Tommy Merlyn could give her the world...and probably break her heart while doing so. 

 

**_I'm living for that day_ **

**_Someday_ **

 

This was it. You had to tell him today. Or tonight. Or soon, before you officially lost all your nerve and only lived in fantasy land, a land where everything was perfect and nothing ever went wrong. That was starting to sound more and more tempting the more you thought about how you left things with him. 

Upon officially deciding to leave your room after absolutely no sleep that night, you held your phone tightly in your hand as you wandered around the house bleary-eyed, considering your options. If you just left it off and didn't tell Quentin what was on your mind you could pick up where you left off. That way you wouldn't lose him and you get some form of a happily ever after. 

But no matter what, you knew you would never be truly happy unless you had him fully. You loved him too much to only get a part of him. It was all or nothing and you knew you had to go for all. 

 

**_Why can't I hold you in the street?_**

**_Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_ **

 

During work all Quentin could see in the outside world was happy couples walking around, doing simple things together like shopping or going on dates. It made his heart ache in an unfamiliar way. He'd never had to keep a secret like this before and now he didn't even know why he had to. Keeping secrets wouldn't keep her, it would only make her want something more from someone else. 

Being unable to focus on anything for most on anything for most of the day made him realise that he had to deal with this problem as soon as possible. Fortunately he didn't have to work that night, unless there was an emergency, meaning that he had the night to try and talk to her. 

No longer would he look at couples and wonder whether she would prefer to be like that with him or Tommy Merlyn. No longer would he feel envious of complete strangers walking down the street holding hands. He couldn't handle not knowing how (Y/N) was feeling about their relationship when he cared so much. 

The moment he got some time alone he pulled out his phone and looked for her number, trying to think of what to text her. After mulling over a few options he finally settled for the most simple one of all. 

_'We need to talk. Tonight. 9P.M. Usual place. Please show up.'_

Quentin was well aware that this message didn't sound particularly friendly or welcoming but it was blunt and serious, like how he needed to be in this situation. 

There was no way out of it anymore. The message was sent. The ball was in (Y/N)'s court, he realised with a jolt of fear. Quentin no longer had any control over what might happen and he had never felt so vulnerable in his life. 

Glancing out the window beside him he chose to look at the sky instead of at the ground where the enamoured couples were for a moment, before exhaling quietly and forcing himself to return to work. 

 

**_I wish that we could be like that_ **

**_Why can't we be like that?_ **

**_'Cause I'm yours_ **

**_I'm yours_ **

 

Upon receiving a text from Quentin you sat on your bed just staring at your phone, unsure of how to respond or if a response was really needed in this situation. You knew that you had to show up, at least for his sake, but you knew there was a chance that everything the two of you had could fall apart with one wrong move. The situation was too delicate for any mistakes, every word had to be planned perfectly, starting with your reply. 

Your response had to show that you were completely fine with this sudden meeting and that you had something you had to talk about as well. Shakily, you began typing. 

_'Of course. There's a lot that needs to be said. See you then.'_

You decided last second that adding kisses would be inappropriate, so after rereading the short message a few times you hit send with a small feeling of satisfaction. You felt your reply was both understanding and professional, setting what you felt was a perfect tone for your meeting that night. 

Outside your bedroom you could hear music playing from what you assumed to be Thea's room, going by the fact that all the songs were new-ish and too lovey dovey to be anything Oliver, Walter or your Mom would listen to. While you didn't concentrate enough to recognise the song she was playing you did pick up on it being a love song and you rolled your eyes. It was just your luck that everywhere you'd been the last few days had been filled with some romantic crap. Maybe life had always been that way and you'd only just began to notice it. Either way it sucked. 

Flopping onto your bed and dropping your phone beside you, you attempted to block out the sappy song and it's lyrics, trying your hardest not to compare yourself to the lovesick girl in the song. 

"At least that bitch is happy." You huffed to no one but yourself, rolling on to your stomach and covering your ears to block out all the sounds and thoughts, but since when did that ever work? No matter what you would end up spending the day thinking about Quentin and what could happen. You were desperate for things to work out, desperate for you and him to have the type of love story all those songs were about. Surely the two of you could have something like those relationships, right? Or maybe not. Either way, those God damn love songs wouldn't help anything. 

With a groan you got off your stomach and marched out of your room and into Thea's to ask her to turn down her music. At least that would give you some peace and quiet to destroy yourself with your thoughts and feelings. 

 

**_Why can't I say that I'm in love?_ **

**_I wanna shout it from the rooftops_ **

**_I wish that it could be like that_ **

**_Why can't we be like that?_ **

**_'Cause I'm yours_ **

What on earth were you going to say to him? You had been wanting to speak with him about this for weeks and yet you had no idea how to even begin. Why couldn't you put your feelings into words? All you wanted was to be with him properly, like a regular couple. Well, as regular as you could be with a man who hates your family, who also hate like him. 

You knew that his family might also be a problem as well. What if Laurel didn't like you dating her father? You two were only sorta friends, due to how uncomfortable you felt being around her after Oliver and Sara...left. What if Quentin's ex wife returned? You'd never met Dinah but you knew Quentin and her had been married for years and that they would always love each other. What if he went back to her? Could you really blame him? A year and a half long secret relationship was one thing, a marriage that must have lasted at least a decade was another. How could you compete with that? 

You knew you were running out of time and you had gotten nowhere. You sat at your desk with a piece of paper in front of you and a pen in your hand as if writing down your thoughts would help. You came to the realisation that planning this sort of thing out would never work. You knew what you had to say, whether or not you say it right was just going to have to wait until you had to meet up with him in a few hours...  

Or twenty minutes. 

 

**_Why can't we be like that?_ **

**_Wish we could be like that_**

 

After throwing on an old sweatshirt and some jeans you dashed out the house with no explanation to your family and jumped into your car, speeding out of the driveway and down the street, already knowing you'd be late to the meeting you'd been waiting for for weeks. You hoped Quentin wouldn't see this as a bad sign because you couldn't handle it if this night went bad. You checked the time once again and saw that you only had ten minutes to make it to the other side of the city. You would definitely be at least ten minutes late, despite the fact that you had completely disregarded the speed limit.

"Please don't be mad, please don't be mad." You chanted to yourself as you turned another corner, miraculously avoiding traffic as you drove down the busier streets to get to the part of the city where hardly anyone went, exactly where the Chinese restaurant was, the perfect place for secret meetings. You were nearly there. It was only a few blocks away and, not knowing if there would be anywhere to park there, you pulled in to the first spot you saw and ran, barely remembering to lock your car as you got out.

You could see the neon sign a few metres away as you pulled out your phone to check the time. 9:20P.M. Fuck. You sprinted towards the door and stumbled into the building, startling the waitress and the only customer inside, who just happened to be the man you were looking for. He was sitting at a table in the back with his elbows resting on the worn out wood and his hands covering his mouth. However, the moment you got in the door he stood abruptly, catching your eye immediately.

You only just realised how out of breath you were from running the last few blocks, but the adrenaline surging through your veins had you advancing towards him just as he decided that staying at the table was no longer as desirable. You met in the middle of the nearly empty restaurant with you still panting lightly. From the corner of your eye you could see the waitress behind the counter trying not to stare at the two of you and failing. For a moment no one spoke, until he made the first move.

"(Y/N)..." He breathed lightly, looking like he'd just lost his nerve, like you were feeling.

"Quentin..." You panted, already feeling your throat tighten. 

Again there was silence. The young waitress had given pretending she wasn't listening and was now leaning forward and watching you both closely. Then at the same time you both spoke. 

"We need to talk."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, don't expect this series to have any particular order. It'll literally be a bunch of random moments in their relationship and whatever pops into my head. They'll also largely be set in season 1 or 2 because I only started watching recently. Hope you enjoyed this fic! Like, comment, etc. 
> 
> There will be a continuation of this story eventually. 
> 
> The aesthetic was made by me. If you like it why not take a look at my other aesthetics on Tumblr on @littleaestheticmonster
> 
> (H/C) - Hair Colour  
> (Y/N) - Your Name


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